Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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