I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
