this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
