so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
