fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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