I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
