Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
