Non-Jews are for practice
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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