In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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