im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
