But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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