The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
