he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
