Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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