Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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