thus making me awesome and them whores
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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