you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
