she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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