i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
