whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
