Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
