The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize