You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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