if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
