You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
