a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
