if i can run in heels then i can drive
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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