just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So vagazzling was a success
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
