Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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