farters have to be the big spoon...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
