hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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