Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
operation harelip BJ is a go
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
