Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
