Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
