It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
