problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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