Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
