doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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