I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
