i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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