just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
