so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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