Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I got inside last night via doggy door
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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