Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
