i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
im on a boat
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