I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
