just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
