My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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