Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
we made out on top of his cat.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
