Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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