Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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