Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
you made out with another girl for some wings
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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