It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
